I had last week off work which was a godsend. I was so tired both physically, emotionally and spiritually that i was really to collapse! It led me to a lot of soul searching and a lot of asking God what was going on on, why i was so tired, etc etc. I was reminded of two totally key life verses that i had temporarily misplaced in my brain:
Isaiah 30 v5: "In repentance and rest is your salvation; in quietness and rest is your strength"
and
Isaiah 40 v28-31 "28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. "

I spent a lot of time thinking about what it really means to be quiet and to rest before God and a lot about waiting on God. Waiting on God is really linked in the bible to having hope in Him, who he is, the expectation that he can do something. I don't know if it's really the passive thing that i usually think of. Quite often it should also mean that i act out of a place of knowning who God is and what he does and will do.

I don't know if i came up with many conclusions apart from needing to find time to rest, both physically and spiritually in ways that really do refresh me. Working from a place of rest seems to be the key phrase around church at the moment.

It also led me to begin asking God again what i am really for. I don't want to be doing the things that exhaust me when there are things that i could be doing, which are just as much what God has in store for me, which would give me life. I think it's ok to want to be satisfied in life, but i'm not sure if that satisfaction comes from what you do, simply for what it is, or if it comes from knowing that you're doing what God wants you to do. Probably the latter, which then facilitates the former. I think i'm asking God again what i'm made for. Interesting!

Tom and i spent some lovely time with Matt & Anita, a couple over from New Zealand, on Saturday. They have come from a cafe-church background and it was really interesting to hear their experiences of coming to 'regular' church. it was good to hang out with people who are so chilled and yet so passionate about God. Fun fun fun : )