I'm having an interesting time with God at the moment, trying to figure out why something is not happening. i don't know if it's because it's not something that God's hand is on, therefore not flourishing and i should let it go, or because it's a spiritual warfare thing and so i need to pray and fast more. I wonder how you know! I have a feeling it's the latter, so i am embarking upon a ramadan style fast, where you eat dinner eat night, for a while. I think God' suddenly got serious about it all and has upped the stakes.

We got back from our holiday on Monday and then lazed around on Tuesday. A nice way to break yourself back into being home i think! We had a great time away - Birmingham, London, Harrogate, Edinburgh, Stirling castle, Loch Lomond, Loch Ness, Glen Coe, Mull and Iona. i totally loved Scotland and have already started planning in my head the next time we can make it up to the beautiful lush green mountains. Today i came back to work, with a zillion emails and things to do. But i've got through the day well i think.
 
This morning on the way to work i was thinking about someone i knew and how they intimidated me slightly (this happens quite often!) whihc then means that i get a bit defensive and distant. Silly really. So i was thinking about it and felt a little nudge in my spirit, which i think was from God, saying that i needed to start seeking to find the good in all. Grace, who i work with is so good at this. I have far to come. But when i tried it with the person i was thinking of, it worked! Not scared or intimidated by them anymore and can start to have normal frienship with them. Cool hey!
 
We went to a Form conference for 3 days just before we went away, which was brilliant. I love being with bunches of people who are just totally in love with God, who listen to Him and really hear him and who are great at encouraging others. I so want to be more like that - a setter of the mood, rather than a mood-follower. Tom and i both came away really really excited about god's plans for Form in Bristol and His help in getting that underway.

Yippee! Finished Power Evangelism last night which was a good achievement. It's ages since i've actually finished a Christian book i've started. So now i move onto the next unfinished one - probably a CS Lewis or Eugene Peterson. Maybe i should just stick to easy-read novels! Anyhow, P.E. was great and telling Tom some of the Holy Ghost stories even put goosebumps up his arms. More of that God(goose bumps that is and stories of our own to tell)!

Last night we sat down in our little lounge and sang some songs to God together. It was a good thing to do and i think we will be doing more of it (eh Tom?!). Hopefully God will harden my fingers up a bit as they're killing me today!

We're off on holiday on Thursday evening. First to a conference near Birmingham about Form the new gap-year programme we are starting up as part of the form network across the UK, then to London for my lovely friend Claire's leaving party - she is emigrating with her husband out to Oz : ( then we are heading up to Scotland for a week's camping trip. Fun fun fun!! I'm not sure Tom is quite as excited as i about it all though. He's particularly not looking forward to midges, which there apparently are in abundance up there. Hmmm... Any ideas apart from long sleeved clothes permanently?

So, yesterday I picked up 'Power Evangelism' by John Wimber and Kevin Springer once again, in a last ditched attempt to try and finish it. (I am so bad at starting things and not finishing them - very short attention span and quick to be bored.) Anyway, it's suddenly got to the more interesting section which isn't all theory and I came across something that I found has made me very thoughtful and something which kind of hooks in a bit with what I’ve been pondering on recently to myself. It's quite long, but worth a read:

“Before taking a closer look at how personal signs (which he describes before as being restoring the sight to the blind, casting out demons and evil spirits, healing sick people, making the lame walk, cleansing lepers, restoring hearing to the deaf, taking up poisonous serpents, raising the dead, speaking in tongues, calming storms, feeding thousands, drinking deadly poison and not being affected by it) enhance evangelism, I want to point out the significant relationship between them and social signs like care of the poor and liberating the oppressed. Social justice is at the very heart of the gospel. Jesus stated his mission in Luke 4:18-19: 'to preach good news to the poor...to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour'. In he Old Testament, the 'year of the Lord's favour' was the Year of Jubilee, in which debts were to be cancelled, slaves freed, land redistributed (Lev 25). Jesus announced the impending establishment of an eternal Jubilee.
This was fulfilled in the kingdom that Jesus brought. It is a kingdom in which 'justice roll(s) on like a river, (and) righteousness like a never-failing stream’ (Amos 5:24), a kingdom that ‘upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry’ and ‘sets prisoners free’ (Ps 146:7).
Jesus saw the people he preached to and healed as ‘harassed and helpless’ victims of injustice who were powerless to help themselves (Matt 9:35-6). He linked his healing ministry with ministry to the poor, because he saw both as ‘bringing justice’. (Matt 11:5, 12:15-21). In the Sermon on the Mount he pronounced blessing on those who hungered and thirsted for justice (Matt 5:6). He also gave his disciples a clear mandate to act for social justice: ‘I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisee and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven’ (Matt 5:20). Obedience to God requires private righteousness and standing for righteousness in the world (Matt 25:31-46)
As we stand for social justice we testify to the presence of the kingdom, and our evangelistic efforts are empowered. Peter Wagner’s categories of ‘social signs’ (preaching the good news to the poor, proclaiming release to the captive, liberating the oppressed, instituting the Year of Jubilee) and ‘personal signs’ do not stand in opposition to one another. In fact, as we go forth preaching the gospel and standing for social justice, the Holy Spirit breaks through in signs and wonders.” (pages 163-164)

I don't know about you, but i am longing for some empowered stuff to happen. Maybe i've been trying to work it out in the wrong place...