well, the weekend went better than i thought it would, so that was good!
it feels like God has given me some new lenses to see everything through in terms of my dad - ones which, although he did do crap stuff, i can appreciate that he is human and therefore from that point of view i can forgive him and stop expecting him to be perfect.
it means that i can rely on and trust in my perfect father and let dad just do what he does and let it wash over me more.
it also felt like i don't need the big show-down with dad as it won't achieve anything really. God is more than big enough to heal hurts and bind up wounds. as for telling dad some stuff, i think that will happen but don't know how or when. that can be up to God.
thanks for praying!

so, a quick one for all of you praying people out there who want to pray. this weekend is the 'seeing dad' weekend and i'd really appreciate some prayer for it, mainly on Saturday, as it's not going to be easy - i guess simply that i would know so truly that my heavenly father is with me. i don't want to grit my teeth and get through it, i want to learn and grow and forgive and i think some of that has to come from hard things.
thanks lots!