well, the weekend went better than i thought it would, so that was good!
it feels like God has given me some new lenses to see everything through in terms of my dad - ones which, although he did do crap stuff, i can appreciate that he is human and therefore from that point of view i can forgive him and stop expecting him to be perfect.
it means that i can rely on and trust in my perfect father and let dad just do what he does and let it wash over me more.
it also felt like i don't need the big show-down with dad as it won't achieve anything really. God is more than big enough to heal hurts and bind up wounds. as for telling dad some stuff, i think that will happen but don't know how or when. that can be up to God.
thanks for praying!