So, on a recent trip to see some of Tom's family in Edinburgh I discovered a way of helping me through the what can only be described as miseries of late pregnancy: Calvin and Hobbes. 

Having been a great fan for many a year imagine my happiness when  I discovered that Tom had a stash of C&H books stored in the family flat in Edinburgh. So we transported them back home and I have laughed my way, rather hugely and loudly to myself, through the last week. It has been a thoroughly enjoyable experience, making the aching hips, lack of sleep, kicks in my ribs from a potential world-class judo champion and generally feeling like a whale much more bearable!

Today I am feeling very lethargic. It is, I think, due to a combination of the weather being cold, grey and dreary, of being super tired after driving with Tom to Edinburgh and back in 2 days and of there being only 5.5 weeks left until I am meant to be giving birth. All in all a day to stay in bed!

Sadly there are lots of things to do and my over-sensitive sense of duty leads me from my warm, cosy bed to tidy up, put some clothes away and get dinner ready. Boo. Sometimes I wish I could just be a total, non-caring slob!!!

On being a transparent freak of nature..

Today I am quite tired from being uncomfortable when trying to sleep, the baby doing circus-like acrobatics all night and then me waking up hungry, trying to go back to sleep and then finally succumbing to the need and going to get some cereal (see point 1 under excited by). Tom claims to be even more so due to my pregnancy-worsened snoring which has developed into something resembling a low-flying aircraft from the way it was described this morning! I think it's to the spare room with him!

I also have a gazillion thoughts to process, which means that this has now been re-written 3 times. Too much going on inside my head! Here's a condensed summarised  version...

Excited by:

1. my re-found love of Special K red berries cereal - bought haphazardly because it was on special offer and now making a welcome return to regular purchasing.

2. our housegroup: last night a select, very special few went out to the train station in the city centre to give out free cups of tea and coffee to taxi drivers (I stayed in due to knackeredness). they had a great time and met the people who God gave them pictures of beforehand and chatted with them. Most of the taxi drivers around last night seemed to be muslim believers and cool conversations about God were had. So good.

3. autumn freshness and crunchy leaves to walk through

4. being on maternity leave

Challenged by:

1. the notion once again of God's utter reality, that although theologically he is with us, that he actually REALLY IS WITH US, here, right now, interacting, challenging, loving, changing. really. here.now. ask him and i'm sure he'll let you know!

2. the subsequent consequences in my life of this being reality.

3. a talk by Rob Bell that I just listened to about being who God made us to be, even if that means challenging the norm and pushing for what other people might not want and being truly authentic, transparent and the freak of nature God made us each individually to be. My favourite phrase of his talk was 'are you smoking what you're selling?'

I like that phrase. How can we tell possibly conceive of telling people of a loving God when we don't know we're loved; or a healing God when we've never let ourselves be exposed to his healing; or a God of grace and mercy when we beat ourselves up; or a God of Life when we aren't free? Clearly everything is a process and we're never going to have it all totally figured, but we can at least be on the road. 

So an exciting and challenging day of thinking and living and interacting ahead. I'm off to go swimming - and it's only 11am!!

For those of you who know me a little bit you will know that I am a big fan of the 'old school' vineyard worship songs. I re-found this one a couple of days ago and it feels like it's my song of the moment. This is the God who I know and love:

Father I come to you, lifting up my hands

In the name of Jesus, by your grace I stand

Just because you love me and I love your Son

I know your favour, unending love

I receive your favour, your unending love

not because I've earned it, not for what I've done

Just because you love me and I love your son

I know your favour, unending love

It's the presence of your kingdom

as your glory fills this place

and I see how much you love me as I look into your face

nothing could be better, there's nothing I would trade

for your favour, unending love.

How could a God like that not be someone to fall in love with and to give a life to?

Now all I need to do is try to learn the guitar chords for it and I'm away!!

Last night, as I attempted to extract myself from my bed to get something I'd forgotten, I realised that I couldn't actually get up properly anymore and that I had to kind of 'roll' myself into a sitting up position in order to effectively get out without falling over or injuring myself.

My lovely husband was in hysterics and said I looked very much like a weeble...

Hmmm. The joys of pregnancy are upon me. ha. ha.

Today a work colleague showed me some photos of her trip last weekend to Switzerland where she is getting married in January. Alas, although they were lovely and I am so excited for her, it has also stirred the annual misery of being stuck in England and a yearning to live in the alps again. It's been 10 years now since I left (!!!!!) and every year it's the same. They do something to you the mountains, get in your blood. It's not even the skiiing/snowboarding, it's just being there. Darn it!!