Today I was shopping in the local supermarket and I had a bit of a shock - I saw a vicar (purple-shirt-and-dog-collar-wearing) buying loads of booze: wine, vodka and the such. I'm still trying to figure out why I had a shock - that the stereotype in my head of what vicars should be like was offended, or that in fact I had a different stereotytpe and it was confirmed as true. Both of which could make me look again.
Interesting to self-examine in the middle of a supermarket!

Today I finished reading an amazing book called ‘My name is Asher Lev’, by Chaim Potok. It’s a beautiful insight into the world of the Jewish people, their customs, struggles, views. Actually I have read a few of his books now and where some of them repeat the same things I find that I am more and more drawn into the aspect of ritual that observant Jews live by.

I was sitting in my kitchen this morning, bathed in sunlight and warmth, (potentially very misleading warmth as it was like the artic yesterday), reflecting on the notion of ritualistic Sabbath. I don’t know much about what observant jews actually do on Sabbath aside probably from what I’ve read, but one part of the book talks about a time where the son and father are disagreeing over an issue and the father tells the son not to disrupt his Sabbath or to defile the Sabbath table. I was very struck by the holiness of a day/extended period of time in a day of remembering, in a ritualistic fashion, what God has done, who he is, what he is doing now and that that was to be preserved against interruptions which could be saved for another time. I reflected on how little time we have as families, communities, of ‘holy’ uninterrupted time outside of a Sunday morning service, which for me is rarely peaceful and reflective, when the focus really is solely on God, a celebration of God. I thought how nice it would be to try and incorporate some of this into the life I lead with Tom. I may investigate it further.

Chaim Potok is a very interesting person. It’d be well worth the time to read some of what he has written.

On another totally different thread, I have been meaning to write for sometime about the way in which people everywhere are creating their own theme tunes for life. If you walk down any street you will doubtless hear music being played, whether out of a phone, an i-pod, or some other clever device, or you will see a group of people walking together, talking, but then notice that half of them have their earphones in, listening to music as they walk as well. And I began asking myself why people had started to feel the need to have music on all the time. Please understand that I love music, am not against music in any way. It’s just this particular way of listening to it that has begun to strike me.

It made me think of films and how there are very few silent films, by which I mean to which there is no soundtrack. Castaway is one I do remember. Soundtracks depth to the pictures we watch and heighten the senses. It made me think of something Tom and I have talked about in people needing drama in their lives to make them feel alive and how music with you as you walk, talk, brush your hair, can make you feel more alive, more caught up in the moment, than it would normally do.

It made me feel sad that life isn’t enough as it is. Because I think I have always been very much caught up in the drama of the world and have been made to feel alive by the very fact that God has made me alive, that I can spend hours wondering over the make-up of a flower in my garden, or pondering over the little people I know and the great way they fling themselves at life, no holds barred, or marvelling over how my husband can love me so intensely when I am an emotional rat-bag.

When there is so much longing for life to have greater depth and meaning and excitement and drama, surely it is time those who know him helped people to encounter the One who created it all in the first place and gives true meaning to everything. It sounds corny, but I have a feeling it may be true.

There are upsides of having D&V! Oh yes. Tom and I are currently doing the Lent Challenge, whereby we live off the minimum wage for the period of lent and experience what it is like to have less and then get to give away all the cash we've saved at the end of it. SO, when we didn't eat last week due to being ill, we saved some money which we could then put towards treats which we couldn't otherwise afford - like going to the theatre this staruday night with some cheap tickets which come through a work social club!! Great news!

The last few weeks have been packed with many varying excitements, stresses, watching sad life-things in other people. but the best thing was getting up and about on Saturday after having spent a week in bed with D&V. Tom and I made the most of a gloriously sunny day and gardened in our little patch out the back, chopped down a big spiky bush and tidied up. It was so good to be outside again!
The second best thing was being able, following my ankle operation, to finally walk to work today. It was a bit achy in teh ankle region and my leg muscles are very unsued to working, but it was GREAT to be free!!
I have been thinking about lots of things recently: how to live a life free of worry, how to make the most of where I am, how to be a better friend, wife, helper, how to hold on to Jesus with all that I am, every minute of the day. A slow dawning is coming over me that the latter is crucial to grasp as it seems that when I don't, things very clearly fall apart around me! I guess when you have a big enough vision for something it causes you to take any action possible to ensure it happens. that it what i am working on at the moment. Jesus, open my eyes!!
I am talking at church on Sunday about Jesus as the Good Shepherd. There's so much I could say, the hard part is knowing what is most helpful to say and what would he have me say to our people at this time. Some work is to be done on it on Thursday - the getting down into a coherant form all of the thoughts i've been thinking and mulling over it over the last 6 weeks or so. We'll see... His sheep are apparently meant to be able to hear his voice, so Jesus, open my ears!!